According to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and prevention, South Florida continues to have the highest rate of new HIV diagnoses in the country. Many people don’t know their status because of fear of knowledge, thinking an HIV positive diagnoses is a death sentence.

The truth is, an individual can live with the disease.

Mariah D, a collegiate colleague of mine, was born HIV positive. Read her story:

Dear Jessika Ward T.V., My name is Mariah a FAMU graduate, and the mother of an amazing five year old little boy! Unfortunately I’m also known for being HIVpositive.

It all started when I was just seven years old. My older sister was being celebrated for her academic achievements and the local newspaper published an article about it.

In that article, the writer included a caption that read, “Her mother died from AIDS and her seven-year-old sister, Mariah, was born HIV-positive.”

When I read that article my little seven year old world collapsed. I didn’t know much about HIV at the time besides I didn’t want to have it. Apparently my grandmother was just so proud that our family had overcome such hardships that she shared it with the reporter not knowing that it would be published.

I had never had a conversation with my grandmother about my HIV status before that day. She always told me I was taking medication because they were vitamins.

As a result of that article being published in my very small town, I had to process the realization of my status publicly.

All throughout elementary, middle school, and some of high school, my peers would spread rumors about me and even if I lied, I couldn’t escape the truth.

Everybody knew I was living with the virus and I was ostracized because of it.

I remember being bullied and one of the girls said, “I don’t want to fight her! She might bleed!”

I remember feeling disgusted with myself thinking, ‘they don’t want to be my friend and they don’t even want to fight me either.’

Because of the fearbased narrative that was painted around HIV and AIDS in the 80’s and the 90’s people are afraid of people living with HIV. They think if we touch them they’ll die or, God forbid, if they love one of us then they might die. I don’t know what anyone’s reasoning would be for hate and stigma in 2019 when so much free information is available, but unfortunately we do still live in a world where hate exists. Something I would like to say about that is there is now research that proves that HIV is not transmittable if the person who is positive is undetectable. This is how my son, his father, and any of my romantic partners have been able to remain HIV negative.

Also, I want people to stop overlooking the children who were born HIV-positive who are now adults.

When they spew out their ignorance condemning homosexuals and promiscuous people they forget that the virus does not discriminate. Beautiful women who you admire may be living with HIV or any other disease.

That charismatic man you lust for may not even know his status. I just want people to make decisions based on fact and not fear. All in all, I have been able to remain pretty healthy despite the virus but the most burdensome part of living with it is the mental and social aspect of the disease. The stigma and the way me and many others have to navigate living in this world with mean, hateful, and essentially ignorant people. I’ve had to deal with abuse and being manipulated in a romantic relationship based on my insecurities surrounding the virus. I’ve had to deal with family members throwing low blows and having to always be skeptical about who I can trust. I also deal with depression and anxiety and I must say those diagnoses have been more taxing than HIV itself. My advice in this area is don’t spend time with people who stress you out. Be conscious about being the creator of your life and create it in a way that serves and accommodates you. You don’t have to be angry and you don’t have to tolerate abuse. Regardless of what disease you may have in your physical body. You are still a child of God and you deserve to be treated as such. That goes for how you treat yourself as well as everyone else who wants to be apart of your life. I carried a lot of resentment towards my deceased mother and estranged father for many years before I was able to make peace with everything. My anger and resentment caused me to be a rebellious child and refuse to take my medicine consistently. Unfortunately I still deal with the consequences of that because now I’m resistant to a lot of HIV medications. That means that certain medicines aren’t effective for me anymore because I was inconsistent and eventually the virus adapted to that particular medication. Thankfully there are a lot more options for me now than there was for my mother during the 90’s. Because of the changes that have occurred since the 90’s, I have been able to keep my viral load undetectable which means that there is a very small amount of the HIV virus in the sample of blood drawn during my labwork. In other words, the virus is suppressed. This is a huge accomplishment that should not be taken for granted. In the 80’s and 90’s, the virus was an epidemic. People like my mother didn’t stand a chance because medicine just wasn’t as advance as it is now and the medicine that was available was very toxic to the body. Now, I don’t take my medicine for granted. Even with advancements, I, along with many others living with HIV, still have trouble accessing these medications.

I just recently had to go two months without this vital medication because of insurance and pharmacy issues. So with that being said, my advice to anyone who is living with HIV is to really take care of yourself and don’t rely solely on the medication. The medication is expensive and sometimes hard to obtain. So, take care of yourself mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Spend time outside in the sun, go for walks, eat healthy, reduce stress levels. Life is delicate and you have to take your survival seriously. Make peace with your truth because the worse part of the virus is the stigma and the shame. I like to think of it like this, you can accidentally die but you can’t accidentally live. You have to put effort into getting up everyday and caring for yourself in order to sustain a worthy life. So do it! I believe in you! XOXO, Mariah D.